I sat here for a while trying to think of a way to start this post. Maybe an inspirational quote about traveling and finding yourself? Maybe a funny story? Maybe a picture? But I couldn’t think of anything. And I’m simultaneously trying to think of the best way to end this, the very last post that will ever be made on this blog, and I can’t think of a way to do so either. An inspirational quote is too cliche, a funny story isn’t full-circle enough, and a picture doesn’t do my experience justice. So I’ll just ignore the beginning, the end, and go straight for everything else.
I hate saying that I’m trying not to cry while writing this, but I’m not going to lie. Studying abroad surpassed any and all expectations I had. While I was expecting to explore Europe, I wasn’t expecting to become more familiar with it than I am with the United States. While I was expecting to become more independent, I wasn’t expecting to be able to travel internationally by myself. While I was expecting to make friends, I wasn’t expecting to find a family. While I was expecting to have fun, I wasn’t expecting to have a new sense of purpose instilled in me.
I flew to London and back by myself, to Rome and back by myself, to Croatia by myself. I navigated the language barrier, adapted to a new way of life, assimilated myself into a totally different culture, and took classes that were all totally outside my comfort zone, all while maintaining my sanity (and hopefully a decent GPA). I came into this program knowing no one, and am leaving with a brand new group of friends who I consider some of the greatest people I’ve ever met. And, most importantly, I’ve realized that there is so much more to life than what we see on a daily basis; there is a hell of a lot of world out there, and most people have barely scratched the surface, myself included. There are so many more places for me to see and people for me to meet, and I’m ready to go out and do those things.
I’m going to miss the way I would get annoyed at the motion-sensored lights in the chateau, how they would always randomly turn off and leave a room in total darkness. I’m going to miss the delayed flights and the late trains. I’m going to miss how sticky the bottom of my shoes were after a night out at Das Boot. I’m going to miss four straight hours of history every Tuesday and Thursday. I’m going to miss the stress of planning for weekend trips, my computer screen split between an essay and information about flights, trains, and hostels. I’m going to miss the dozens of steps to the chateau every day that would leave me out of breath and with sore legs. I’m going to miss the sense of dread that crept up in my stomach every time my parents mentioned my credit card bills. I’m going to miss waiting in line for twenty minutes at customs and then having the people working there interrogate me before asking me for proof that I am studying in the EU, and I’m going to miss proudly presenting them my ID card that says yes, I am a citizen of Luxembourg. I am a citizen of Luxembourg.
But there are plenty of things to look forward to. I’m excited to be able to go get food past 1pm on a Sunday if I’m hungry. I’m excited to start taking literature classes again. I’m excited to not have to pay for public bathrooms or water at restaurants. I’m excited to have my car back. I’m excited to start working again to replenish my bank account. And, most importantly, I’m excited to hug my family and some of my best friends who are waiting for me back in the States. I’m excited for what comes next.
I was Skyping my mom one night and she commented that she has never seen me so happy as I am in my pictures from my European travels. And I think she’s right. I’ve had my fair share of struggles in the area of self-confidence, but this trip has solidified my pride in who I am. I have become independent. I have become someone who can be put in a situation entirely outside their comfort zone and succeed. I have become someone who feels comfortable in their skin, in their abilities, and in their experiences. My self-esteem has skyrocketed, something I never imagined it could do in such a short period of time. Of course, my trip has had its share of downs, from losing my phone to being stuck in a six hour traffic jam and having to buy a new (and expensive) plane ticket to Madrid to my computer completely breaking down. But, I’m alive, I’m healthy, and I’m ready to come back to America with a new sense of independence, confidence, and knowledge. The pros have definitely outweighed the cons.
So maybe I will end with a picture, the only one that would do this program justice.
I hate saying that I’m trying not to cry while writing this, but I’m not going to lie. Studying abroad surpassed any and all expectations I had. While I was expecting to explore Europe, I wasn’t expecting to become more familiar with it than I am with the United States. While I was expecting to become more independent, I wasn’t expecting to be able to travel internationally by myself. While I was expecting to make friends, I wasn’t expecting to find a family. While I was expecting to have fun, I wasn’t expecting to have a new sense of purpose instilled in me.
I flew to London and back by myself, to Rome and back by myself, to Croatia by myself. I navigated the language barrier, adapted to a new way of life, assimilated myself into a totally different culture, and took classes that were all totally outside my comfort zone, all while maintaining my sanity (and hopefully a decent GPA). I came into this program knowing no one, and am leaving with a brand new group of friends who I consider some of the greatest people I’ve ever met. And, most importantly, I’ve realized that there is so much more to life than what we see on a daily basis; there is a hell of a lot of world out there, and most people have barely scratched the surface, myself included. There are so many more places for me to see and people for me to meet, and I’m ready to go out and do those things.
I’m going to miss the way I would get annoyed at the motion-sensored lights in the chateau, how they would always randomly turn off and leave a room in total darkness. I’m going to miss the delayed flights and the late trains. I’m going to miss how sticky the bottom of my shoes were after a night out at Das Boot. I’m going to miss four straight hours of history every Tuesday and Thursday. I’m going to miss the stress of planning for weekend trips, my computer screen split between an essay and information about flights, trains, and hostels. I’m going to miss the dozens of steps to the chateau every day that would leave me out of breath and with sore legs. I’m going to miss the sense of dread that crept up in my stomach every time my parents mentioned my credit card bills. I’m going to miss waiting in line for twenty minutes at customs and then having the people working there interrogate me before asking me for proof that I am studying in the EU, and I’m going to miss proudly presenting them my ID card that says yes, I am a citizen of Luxembourg. I am a citizen of Luxembourg.
But there are plenty of things to look forward to. I’m excited to be able to go get food past 1pm on a Sunday if I’m hungry. I’m excited to start taking literature classes again. I’m excited to not have to pay for public bathrooms or water at restaurants. I’m excited to have my car back. I’m excited to start working again to replenish my bank account. And, most importantly, I’m excited to hug my family and some of my best friends who are waiting for me back in the States. I’m excited for what comes next.
I was Skyping my mom one night and she commented that she has never seen me so happy as I am in my pictures from my European travels. And I think she’s right. I’ve had my fair share of struggles in the area of self-confidence, but this trip has solidified my pride in who I am. I have become independent. I have become someone who can be put in a situation entirely outside their comfort zone and succeed. I have become someone who feels comfortable in their skin, in their abilities, and in their experiences. My self-esteem has skyrocketed, something I never imagined it could do in such a short period of time. Of course, my trip has had its share of downs, from losing my phone to being stuck in a six hour traffic jam and having to buy a new (and expensive) plane ticket to Madrid to my computer completely breaking down. But, I’m alive, I’m healthy, and I’m ready to come back to America with a new sense of independence, confidence, and knowledge. The pros have definitely outweighed the cons.
So maybe I will end with a picture, the only one that would do this program justice.
Thank you. In each of your own ways, even if we never really talked, you’ve made this trip everything it was, you've added to some of the best and most fun four months of my life. You’ve helped me grow as a person, and without you, my experiences at MUDEC would have been meaningless. We’ve taken on Europe together, so America should be a piece of cake.